Living life one glass of wine at a time

It’s amazing what a couple of nights’ decent sleep can do for your stress levels.  It (and he) still occupies my thoughts quite a few times during the day, but it’s not overwhelming like it was. I keep wondering what he thinks of me; whether he’s upset or angry or hurt or all of the above.  But then I remember how he has manipulated me and I sweep it from my mind.

This week has been eventful to say the least.  My boss had an operation on Thursday.  The op was supposed to take an hour but ended up being more complicated and she was under for just short of three hours.  I may have only known her for around six months but it really brought it home to me how much I care for these girls that I work with now because while she was under the knife I was so nervous and worried.  One of my colleagues stayed at the hospital and reported progress back to us but the not knowing what was going on was horrific.  We all felt so useless and out of sorts.

Yesterday we all met up at the private hospital and had our team meeting in her room.  Well, to be honest we all ate croissants and drank coffees and gossiped under the pretence of having a meeting, and then she was discharged.  After that I was in the office on my own for around 3 hours as everyone else went to a client meeting.  It was bliss having some quiet time although I didn’t get to eat any lunch as I couldn’t go out and leave the office unattended. I even cleaned and vacuumed!

Home is still a little fraught.  I don’t enjoy weekends.  I get far too easily irritated by little things.  It just annoys me that while he grants me a lie-in of two hours, he does nothing with the boychild.  He switches on CBeebies and he plays on his computer.  It strikes me that instead of thinking he could have two hours quality time with his son, he finds him an irritation and a hindrance.  Because he never spends any time doing anything with him, the kiddo wants to spend all his time with me, and I end up with a limpet all weekend.  Whilst I love my son more than life itself, I do wish we could share the parenting a little.  They’re now outside in the back garden playing with a spud gun (not my idea of a good toy, I would rather he didn’t have guns of any type) but this was at my suggestion and even then it took four attempts to get him off his bloody laptop (says she, tapping away).

We have nothing planned for this weekend.  The house needs some serious cosmetic work done to it and a damn good tidy and clean out.  A roofer was meant to be coming today but has cancelled on us yet again.  Am going to ring him next week and ask him if he actually wants the job because it’s been six weeks now and we still have a leak causing mould in our bedroom.  Another SH bit of inspiration.  We’ve had this leak for nearly a year – a load of tiles have come off the roof and because our roof is held on by bits of 60 year old mortar and not much else, rain is leaking through into our bedroom.  We also need new guttering as it has a hole in it.  My dad is paying for the repair as he knows we are broke and told SH to get it sorted.  SH promptly rang national house builders for quotes who, understandably, weren’t interested in such a small job.  Then he started at university and one of his fellow teachers has a friend who is a roofer, so he came round and gave us a quote in November.  Was quite reasonable so we told him to go ahead and he gave us a date for a couple of weeks later.  Then it snowed so he cancelled.  Then it was Christmas.  Then it snowed again.  Then he just didn’t contact us.  I nagged SH constantly to ring him but no, he sent him a text.  The roofer didn’t reply.  I told him to phone him, which he did, but when it went to voicemail he didn’t leave a message.  Finally he had a word with the teacher who told him he would come today.  Then last night, he had an email from the teacher saying that the roofer can’t come today as his van is in the garage!  I’ve lost my temper now.  I don’t know who this person is and SH keeps his phone hidden so I can’t even get the number from him.  I just want my house fixed.

Rant over.

And breathe…

I think I’ll go to the gym.  I’ve lost 9lb.  I think I’ve stayed the same this week because we had a big lunch out at work a week or so ago, a free lunch courtesy of the vodka bar where we had our Christmas party, following our complaints about their service.  It was interesting to see that all four of us couldn’t finish our burgers or chips, we didn’t have starters other than a bowl of potato wedges, and none of us had dessert.  We’ve all been dieting since the New Year and you can see the difference in our appetites, our attitudes towards food and our waistlines.  Between the four of us we’ve lost 2½ stone.  Then this week we’ve had a couple of takeaways in the evening and I have partaken in a couple of bags of Maltesers (stress).  I haven’t weighed myself yet, so we’ll see how I did later but I don’t hold much hope in a loss this week.  I have a long way to go but I’m in the swing of it now.  I think it helps that we’re all doing it at work, not just from the point of view of moral support, but imagine how guilty you’d feel if you came in with a bar of chocolate when they’re all doing so well and avoiding it – I’d feel like I’d let them all down, not just myself!

OK one of my cats has just wandered into the living room with several small pieces of potato stuck to her fur.  I think she might be being used as target practice so I’m signing off to go see what on earth my husband and son are up to.

Enjoy your weekends.