Suburban Mum

So, my weekend away.

Taking public transport was a stroke of genius, if I say so myself.  The Virgin train was prompt, clean, smooth and stress-free.  The kiddo was given a “V-Kids” bag full of stickers and drawing pads and a chalk board and this, coupled with the I-Spy book made for a trouble-free journey to London.  A short hop (and a tenner) across to Charing Cross in a black cab and a half hour wait for our next train, during which we ate our packed lunch (thank heavens someone saw sense and put seats back in stations), and then 90 minutes on another train down to Sussex.  The whole journey was amazingly easy.

When we got off the train at Battle there was thick snow which surprised me.  Mum and my grandmother were waiting for us and whisked us home for a much needed cup of tea and slice of cake.   We were both tired when we got to Mum’s but nowhere near as bad as we’d been had we driven down, and the whole thing took almost half the time.  My brother and his girlfriend paid a surprise visit, Mum cooked a fab dinner of roast chicken with all the trimmings and an early night was had by all.

On Sunday (after a full English breakfast!) we took my grandmother home and stayed an hour or so at her house for tea and cake, after which we figured the old lady who lives in the flat below would probably have had enough of the boychild stomping about and we headed off for lunch in Hastings.  We found a simple little café on the sea front and had the most delicious fish and chips (washed down with tea) I think I’ve ever had.  It was a freezing cold day but the kiddo was bugging us to go on some of the rides in the permanent fun fair, so we humoured him till our hands were numb and then headed home.  I cooked spaghetti bolognese to give Mum a break.

Monday had a slow start because we had to wait for Mum’s cleaners to come and go before we could go out, and as usual they were late (plus they did an absolutely lousy job and she really needs to sack them but she hasn’t found anyone to replace them yet.  Plus they have a famous client who they always go to before coming to her – and the reason they’re always late – and she likes to hear the gossip).  After a quick lunch we headed to Hastings again to visit the aquarium which wasn’t much cop (at least, nothing compared to The Blue Planet, and almost as expensive).  Not only was the signage appalling – half of the tanks had pictures and descriptions of completely different fish to what was inside – but we hung around for ages near the giant octopus because the timetable had said there was a “Meet the Octopus” session at 3pm, and nobody turned up.  Plus the sharks were missing so the big tank just had very small tropical fish in and walking through the tunnel underneath was pretty crap.  To compensate for our disappointment we did some retail therapy instead and the kiddo ended up with a decent new capsule wardrobe!

On Monday evening we indulged in a curry and then my dad came back from his golfing trip to La Manga and we set the world to rights with a bottle of wine.  I packed and headed to bed for another early night.

Tuesday was hectic in that we had to leave fairly early for our train home.  Dad drove us back to the station and on the way suggested that he give me my mum’s car when he changes it in the next month or so, using my current car as part exchange, so that I get a slightly newer and more reliable car (it’s two years’ newer than mine).  It’s the same make and model as mine but a newer and slightly bigger shape, and it’s an automatic.  Other than that it’s pretty much the same spec.  I spent most of my time there driving Mum around in it as she finds driving quite stressful and tiring and I love driving, and found it a lovely car to drive.  I’m so excited – and grateful.  Watch this space as to when it happens, as it all depends on when Dad can sort out buying Mum a new one.

Coming home was not so fun.  The trains were all on time but the Virgin Pendolino must have had something not quite right with it as it shuddered the whole journey which gave me a headache.  The kiddo was tired and grumpy and not interested in any of his books in his train bag, so played up a fair bit, and I was fighting my eyes from shutting.  Arriving into Manchester Piccadilly was one of the best sights I’ve had for a while.  SH was sat on the platform waiting for us and the kiddo ran to him and jumped on his lap with the biggest grin.  I think I actually shut my eyes for most of the car journey home.

A lovely, relaxing weekend.

Then I came home.

Tomorrow, the kiddo and I are going on an adventure.  We’re going to stay with my parents for four days, but we’re going by train.  I don’t know which one of us is more excited.

He has a “train bag” – a bag full of sticker books, I Spy books, colouring books, top trumps and sweets.  I have a fully loaded iPod and an iPod Touch crammed with kids’ movies.  We have a two hour train journey to London Euston, which is on one of the fast Virgin Pendolinos, then a taxi to London Charing Cross (we could do the tube but I think a small child and a large suitcase mean I will end up getting a cab), and then a slow train (on this line they stop at every station) all the way down to Battle in Sussex where Mum will pick us up – this train will take about 90 minutes.

SH is staying at home.  Partly because we need some space from each other and partly because over half term he has to complete two 8,000 word assignments for university.  He also needs to catch up on some sleep.  We’ve also ordered the boychild a new bed, and this (along with the mattress from a different source) arrives on Monday.  He’s under instruction to put shelves up and construct the bed before we get back on Tuesday evening but I’m not holding my breath.  The kiddo is very excited about his new grown-up sized bed, so he’ll be very disappointed if it’s not ready.

So.  I need to go and pack.  I will attempt to post once or twice whilst we’re there and I’ve downloaded the new WordPress Blackberry application specially as I’m not taking my laptop (as it is I have to lug the boychild’s car booster seat; I’m trying to travel light).  I’m sure I’ll tweet from the train too.

Wish me luck; as much as he’s excited, four or so hours’ travelling could be interesting.

So I can’t not blog.  I’m powerless to resist it seems.

Anyway.

Yesterday I had an urge to have my car wrecked by monkeys so we took Chip to Knowsley Safari Park.  Husband refused to drive as he said he didn’t want his car damaged.  I’ve only been to Woburn a long time ago, and my car escaped unharmed that time, so I was blasé.

There weren’t many people there and we drove through the first two reserves without seeing another car.  When we got to the lions, however, there was a huge queue and only when a few cars moved did we see why… the male was getting his end away right by the road.  By the time everyone had moved round enough for us to get close to them, he’d gone to sleep, which is just as well as I didn’t want to explain lion rudies to Chip.

The emu nearly scared the living daylights out of Chip who had taken his seatbelt off so that he could move around the back seat and look at all the animals, and it suddenly tapped on the window right in front of his nose.

We nearly got charged by an angry looking camel.

There are many, many, many different varieties of deer-like creatures.  And they’re all equally boring.

When we got to the baboon enclosure, I drove in noting the signs about not stopping, and entering at your own risk, and damage to cars is your own liability, blah de blah de waffle.  I was confident it was all just bluff and covering their own backs.  I failed to notice how many broken wipers were lying aorund.  As we drove in, two large baboons accosted us by sitting in the middle of the road.  I had to do an emergency stop (at 5mph) to avoid driving over them.  I now wish I had driven over them.

They jumped on my bonnet.  One clambered onto the roof and we heard my aerial going twang over and over again.  The other stayed on the bonnet as we drove round and started to prise the rubber seal away from where the bonnet meets the wing.  I tried speeding up and slamming the brakes on but he tried biting it instead and I got evil stares from a park ranger.

The one on the roof eventually slid down the rear window and jumped on the brand new Honda Civic behind me, and we last saw him sitting with one windscreen wiper in each hand.  The one on my bonnet stayed where he was until we got near the exit gate whereupon he jumped off and ambled back towards the entrance to wait for the next victim car.

It was only as we were driving through the rhino enclosure that I noticed what was stuck on my back window… a freshly made baboon turd.  Lovely.

After a quick stop to watch the elephants being fed and the frisky giraffes trying to imitate the lions followed by Chips first trip on a rollercoaster, we headed home via the car wash.  We all turned to face the rear window and apprehensively waited for the baboon poo to smoosh on the window rather than be brushed off by the car wash brushes.  Luckily baboon poo is fairly rigid (who knew?) and the brush did take it off in one fell swoop, so we all turned back to the front of the car with a sigh of relief… just in time to watch the baboon poo slide down the front windscreen and into the windscreen wiper gully.

Nice.

We’ve been busy bees this last week. SH and I both had the week off work so we made the most of it.

On Wednesday we drove to here (The Peak District)…

… which is about 50 miles from here…

We drove round Derwent Water and stopped at two of the dams, where the dambusters practiced their bouncing bombs.

We then drove on to Castleton and climbed Mam Tor, even ST with his little legs. It was slow progress as some of the steps were pretty steep, but he did better than me!

We came home via a café in Castleton where I might have indulged in one of these…

… and also some of these…

… but I did a lot of walking so hopefully it might have counteracted – ooh – half a bite of scone.

On Thursday, SH mainly did this…

… so ST and I headed off to L’s house for some…

… after which we went home, collected SH (who had deigned to get out of bed at 1pm) and headed to Vicarage Botanical Gardens where we saw these…

… and these…

… and spent some time here.

In the evening, L and I went here…

… where I tried on this…

… for W’s wedding. Didn’t buy it; want to lose some weight first, but gave me some ideas.

On Friday we didn’t do much at all as the weather wasn’t quite as good. We went here…

… to get the food shopping, and then in the evening SH went to the local with his mates…

… and I stayed in with Daniel.

Er… what I mean is, I watched this…

… and then this…

… and OK, I might have forwarded through them to the good bits.

On Saturday, we headed off to here (Anglesey, off the coast of Wales, if you don’t recognise it) …

… which is about 140 miles from here…

… to visit this…

… which is BIL and SIL’s caravan. Needless to stay I won’t ever be staying there. No offense to any caravan owners, but I need my home comforts when I’m away.

We spent some time here…

… and caught some of these…

… before stopping here…

… and here.

On the way home we might have stopped off for…

Yesterday it was my turn to do a spot of…

… while SH took ST to visit…

… and watch…

Today after ST’s playgroup we went to the local park with L and her boys. They played…

… and played…

… and sat…

… and chatted up a random girl they met.

Tonight, L and I went to look round a new…

… which we’re going to join at the end of the month.
Then we went back to…

… for a …

Told you it would be a huge one…

It’s been a busy week, hence no updates. The break with W seems a lifetime ago already.

It took me four hours to do a two hour journey thanks to the M6 being closed and then my sat nav directed me 10 miles in the wrong direction (W’s directed her to the middle of a motorway bridge). The first night we stayed in a grotty hotel near Stratford upon Avon where we had to ask for soap (”it’s handed out on a request only basis”), there was a power cut meaning we had to shower by camera phone flash light, and we only had bedding on one of the beds. The floor was covered in crumbs and the mirror in the bathroom was covered in finger prints. The heated towel rail in the bathroom was disconnected “for our own safety”. There was no phone, no hairdryer and no restaurant. There was no mobile signal on either my network or W’s, and no chance of a 3G one so we couldn’t connect to the internet (which meant I couldn’t Skype ST to say goodnight). When we checked out the following morning, there was nobody at Reception so we just had to leave the key on the desk. It was lovely.

We chatted until 2am, drank too much, took too many photos. The following morning we were at the spa. We only had a taster day so there were no treatments included, but that didn’t matter – we just chilled out by the pool making the most of all the facilities such as calderium, hydrotherapy pool, sauna etc, swam, read, chatted and just relaxed doing nothing. It was bliss. Had a gorgeous lunch there too. It was over far too soon.

The second night we stayed in a much nicer hotel in Warwick with better facilities all round. We went out for dinner that night and I was “touched inappropriately” by the waiter (who was clearly gay and I’m pretty sure it was unintentional which made it quite funny). Again we chatted till 2am, drank too much, W cut my hair (thinned it out, styled it a bit – I’m still growing it), we watched DVDs sat in bed in our ‘jamas, chatted more and Skyped ST. The following day we headed off to Warwick Castle to do some sightseeing. If you ever get the chance to go, do it. Beautiful castle steeped in history. We’d have liked to stay longer but unfortunately we ran out of time, saying tearful goodbyes in the car park.

I’ve had a fantastic cultural evening. Yeah, all you people who think I am a bit of a ‘ladette’ who’s idea of a good night out without child might involve beer, curry, a comedy club or a bar, I do do culture too. Mind you, I wasn’t sure I was going to enjoy it.

Six or so months ago, the Dragon begged me to go with her to see Paul Potts, he of Britain’s Got Talent fame. Literally begged. She looked like the cat from Shrek. Nobody wanted to go with her, she said. “I’ll come,” a voice said and it took me a moment to realise it was mine. What was I thinking?!

Anyway, I had forgotten all about it, wasn’t even aware she’d booked the tickets until Christmas. Turns out she had plenty of people to go with her – both her sisters and her friend came too. If it had been anybody else, I’d probably have made an excuse but she is so hard to say no to, so off I went. Don’t get me wrong, I actually love opera. But I wasn’t so sure about some guy off a TV talent contest standing alone on a stage singing various unrelated arias.

I have been totally proved wrong. Paul Potts was utterly mesmerising from the first note to the last, from his operatic rendition of REM’s “Everybody Hurts” in Italian to “Cavatina” (the theme from “The Deer Hunter” to the uninitiated) which he dedicated to his wife. When he performed “Time to Say Goodbye” the hairs on the back of my neck were standing up and I had to wipe away a tear – seriously. His support artist, Natasha Marsh, was equally captivating. The acoustics in the Bridgewater Hall were amazing and the only downsides to the whole evening were our vertiginous seats in the gallery and having to down a glass of wine in one gulp thanks to the ridiculous queues at the bar, but you can’t have everything. He performed “Nessun Dorma” as the encore and received a well-deserved standing ovation.

Here’s the clip of him singing “Nessun Dorma” on the TV show, followed by my favourite, “Time to Say Goodbye”. Such an incredible voice.